Let me be honest, I don't know what I'm doing.
I have never stepped foot inside of a gym and my first day, it was SO intimidating I looked like a lost puppy. I'm not even kidding.
Reps, equipment, proper protein intake -all of that stuff is so foreign to me.
And I'm sure Anthony thought my eyes would pop out of their sockets. I just stood in the corner watching Anthony and his friend John do their "gym thing" while silently thinking to myself "can I really do this?" for a moment I wanted to write myself off as chicken-shit and high tail it back to the car and pretend I didn't make the ridiculous decision to want to become a NPC bikini competitor.
After all, I know nothing about this.
I just kind of stood frozen and in my head I was screaming "nonono, turn around! You are crazy, this is crazy, you'll never achieve this" but when Anthony got me set up and motioned at me to come over, I actually found my legs walking towards him. No matter how much my head was screaming at me to turn around and to give up I had to tell myself repeatedly that I want to do this, no no let me rephrase that, I NEED to do this!
There were a few times where I completely felt silly and stupid. You know that feeling you get when you're doing something new and you're afraid to mess up but you do it anyway and totally feel awkward? Yeah, that was how I felt the entire time. Plus asking Anthony every five minutes the following:
"Like this?"
"Is this right??"
"What am I doing again?"
"How many reps?!"
"You're kidding right?"
"But you just counted number 3... twice!"
"Are you sure you're counting correctly?"
I knew that when I first stepped into the gym that quitting and saying no was no longer an option for me. Specially with having my trainer as my husband. I learned very quickly that you only worry about yourself and not about others and where they are in their journey.
This is going to be a long road..
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